Wednesday, October 6, 2010


The time I used to spend pottering in blogland have been replaced with living. With becoming Prez of my roller derby league, falling in love, plotting and planning for the future and hibernating over winter, I have had very little inclination to blog. Sometimes there is just too little, or too much to say.
My ex partner and friend Simon died recently from a head injury he received in a brawl. That morning my world got a whole lot emptier. The next day I sat with and his family in the hospital and said goodbye, he was warm, and machines made him breath, but everything that made him Simon was gone. I spent a long time that day trying to memorise everything about him, the dirt under his nails, his one grey chest hair, the feel of his skin, the hairs on his arm. I dreamed of him last night and even in my dream I was sad because I knew he was gone.
But this week, the sun has been shining, the garlic has been shooting up in my new veggie patch and I am regaining my equilibrium. I'm still all kinds of ups and downs but I'm able to cope with normal everyday things like showering and washing dishes. I think it's important to see the best in even crappy events so today I see I am lucky.
I am lucky to never have lost someone so close to me before. I am lucky that after several years with him, I am not going through the trauma of losing a partner, just losing a loved friend. I am lucky to have someone to support me through this time with love and affection. I am lucky I got to say goodbye, in a way. I am lucky to be able to forgive.
So today I will try not to be sad, a little less sad anyway, and look at the best in life. Here are some things that are cheering me up today.My pink, pink hair. (Note to self, pink+orange=not good)The garden in bloom, for pretty things to wake up to.New to me op-shop eiderdown bought for me, by him.
My latest project, derby inspired embroidery


Love_Again said...

so sorry to hear of your loss. i can't imagine what you are going through, but am comforted to hear that you are still able to find beauty and solace in that which surrounds you. that quilt is great, and so is your embroidery.

Meg said...

Oh Dearest Doily. It seems as though your life, and your hair are in full bloom. Just beautiful. xx

Drewzel said...

Blogland is not an obligation.
Life is better for real, warts and all.
Hair looks awesome.
Love Sublime rollergirls.
I am sorry for your loss. xx