Friday, February 27, 2009

Tough times, toughen up?

(backdated 20th Feb)
Last week a neighbour removed me as her 'friend' on Facebook.

It's been a rather raw couple of weeks, I have been dealing with a long-expected and dreaded scenario which is now, thankfully, over. I have tried so damn hard to cope with what has been going on, to be mature, to do the right thing, to keep everybody happy and maintain my self-dignity and despite my best bloody efforts I now feel thoroughly wrung-out, worn thin and of all ****ing things seem to have come out the bad guy.
I'm Cross, hurt, indignant and just wish things would go back to normal, why have I been so harshly and I believe unfairly judged? Why am I suffering the consequences of a situation created by others? I think, perhaps because I seem to be the only one actually communicating honestly.
Really though, why do I care? Why does it matter what people think of me? Especially people who don't really know me, who are clearly only interested in seeing my negatives, are playing stupid girly playground power games and in the grand scheme of things just don't matter a jot!
...But deep down it does matter... it matters lots of jots. I wish I could just sandpaper my hide, take a glass of harden up and not be so darned sensitive.


Meg said...

I am also learning this: the difference between sensitivity and oversensitivity. But don't harden yourself too much! It's your sensitivity that makes you a responsive artist.

Lark said...

I'm with Meg on this - as you know I'm also a victim to the girly-playground-power games at the moment, and sometimes it can be so hurtful. In my experience, it usually only happens because people are actually jealous and resentful of you, so you should view it as flattery! You mustn't stop being sensitive, you just have to forget about it and make new friends and move on. x