Saturday, February 20, 2010

I AM NOT LOVELY!

I'm Really not.
I'm sometimes grumpy, I can be self-focused, I'm shallow in that I spend too much time looking in the mirror, I laugh at my own jokes, I have problems controlling my temper. I enjoy gossiping, I can make bad decisions and this week I pissed of one of my closest friends who is amazing. No... I'm really not LOVELY. I'm human.
This morning I stumbled on this post on Make and Meaning written by Pip and I almost yelled out in agreement! the article on '(blog) Fame' essentially discusses bloggers who 'cash in' on blogs by pretending they are something they are not, to quote:

‘Here is a corner of my perfect home.
Here is a perfect thing I bought.
Here is the perfect thing I bought IN the corner of my perfect home.
Here is the perfect thing on this perfect chair (currently featured on all the design blogs), in the corner of MY perfect home.
Here it is again with a lovely shadow cast over it… and some sea glass scattered on the floor boards.
I love nature and organic things and I am very sustainable too.
Please follow me.
Subscribe to more content here.
INSERT SOME SPAMMY KEYWORDS HERE ABOUT USED CARS or SUGAR LUMPS’

I hear what she's saying, she isn't bagging-out bloggers with pretty blogs and nor am I, I love some visual candy. What I am saying is that the blogs I adore reading the most are written by those who blog in their 'real voice'.

There is a strange phenomenon in the blogging world in that we drop our usually suspicious attitude to Internet content and believe everything we read!

I mean, how do you know that the 30 something mum of 2 crafter you check in with very week/day isn't actually a balding 50 something sleazebag? If you were on any other online forum would you take things with a bigger grain of salt? I know I would.

Sometimes I get a bit downcast by the blogger with the gorgeous white, spotless home, beautiful children and delicious but wholesome home baking.... And then I remind myself that the only reason her life appears on her blog as so perfect, so bloody LOVELY is that SHE IS TELLING ME SO not because it is real. I'm sure behind the lens there is a great big pile of shoved-out-of-camera-shot-junk like the rest of us.


And then, once my eye candy need is fulfilled.. 'click' .. on to some reality, the blogger who is secretly struggling with feeling overwhelmed by her family, who has moved to a new town and is finding new connections difficult, who is a single parent trying to make things work, or is having an 'everything I touch turns to shit' day.

You are the bloggers that rock my world! Your honesty and bravery at being yourself gives me goosebumps. So reality check guys. I'm so over LOVELY for the sake of it because (to quote Pip again) "You are you. Yes. You are ace just the way you are." and if, like me, you do a little dance every time you see that someone enjoys connecting with you enough to 'follow' you, then rock on my friend, rock on!

21 comments:

Andi said...

Great post!!
And so true.
I'm always pushing the piles of laundry and dirty dishes out of the way before I take photos for the blog.
I don't mind people knowing that they exist ... I just think they don't enhance a nice shot of a quilt!!
How can I possibly keep my house looking gorgeous, my kids cleaned/bathed/nurtured while I'm so busy reading OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOGS???
From,
A not so perfect wife / mother / home maker.

Pip Lincolne said...

I like you because you are NAUGHTY. Most of my friends are quite NAUGHTY. That's why I like 'em. I am so glad you understood my GENERAL post. A lot of people have taken offence, and think that it's aimed at THEM. Golly.

It's really important to blog as yourself. That's all I was saying. I'm not sure what is offensive about that! Thank you for 'getting it'! xx

Selina said...

Great post! That comment "I'm sure behind the lens there is a great big pile of shoved-out-of-camera-shot-junk like the rest of us." made me want to go and retake the photo I just put up on my blog*. If you zoom out you can see all the crap lying around. I totally get where you are coming from, but so long as you're not portraying "the perfect life" in every post, the occasional bit of fluff is always nice too.

* I have actually shown my mess warts and all in several blog posts when I did a massive clean up. Maybe I need to revisit that and show an updated version. It's not looking quite as bad as it did, but it's close again!!

Jodie said...

Well some us think you are lovely even when you are feeling un-lovely...

I am probably guilty of just showing the good stuff, but as i try to stick to craft, and craft is the good stuff for me it might seem all lovely - oh yeah except for the everything I touch turns to shit days / weekends...

Be nice to yourself and forgive yourself - we all stuff up !

beck said...

I really enjoyed Pip's post too. It's funny that people took offense isn't it? Perhaps it was a little too close to the bone for some. I think we need to be able to give something of ourselves to connect with others and this is perhaps the key to the blogs that we can relate to. I like to read the ups and downs, not a soft focus overview. There is room for pretty photo's and happy thoughts but life is not always like that is it? So, yep, I'm with you on keeping it real xo

steph said...

I think what I'm really trying to say (and Pip too from my perspective) is that life is pretty damn awesome even with it's crappy little foibles. That to me, the days when things suck bum, or the cake that flopped, or when you wanted to cry coz your 3 year old said they hated you are really beautiful in their humanity and really make me FEEL something when I read them.
Thats all.
Also, I understand that all of us blog for different reasons and that many blogs are marketing tools, thats cool too. I think my gripe is that I stopped reading glossy mags coz they made me feel shitty. My life wasn't as shiny and expensive and 'wholesome' and it made me yearn to consume things I don't need so my life would be better.
I then realised that often that's the intention! They are designed to make you feel like your life will be better if you buy the stuff featured. Some blogs are used that way, most aren't. Even if your blog stays away from the personal, or you tidy your house for pics (coz who doesn't love a pretty picture?) it's the intent with which you write that I enjoy and this post meant to express that better than it did!
Steph

Cath @ chunkychooky said...

Lovely or not your are entertaining and thoughtful. I am off to read that article- i agree with what you have said- its not a competition to have the nicest house with nicest this that and the other- I try to show my real side and the trials nad tribulations of being a crap housekeeper who can't cook... etc etc and all my other imperfections- warts and all!

Pip Lincolne said...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2003/sep/20/highereducation.news1 :
Sorry to spam you with a link! But this is an awesome book - and an article in The Guardian from 7 years ago about the New Realists. It's really interesting. And it's all about flawed and foibles!
xx

angela said...

I always quickly wipe the dust off the bench before I take a photo of something and I'm surprised I can locate my laptop at all on my desk with all this crap in my front room : D

Thank you so much for your lovely giveaway, I'm so excited to have one of your craft handiworks. Unfortunately, I don't have your email address to forward you on my address details. Do you mind emailing me again via my blog email and I will email you back straight away!

I love your honesty in your blog, it's quite refreshing!

CurlyPops said...

You always crack me up! I don't buy the glossy magazines and I don't read the glossy style / design / perfection blogs either. My faves are just the home crafters and the 'at home' mums living life. It like how you can get a really interesting perspective on how other people live their lives.

teddybearswednesday said...

Couldn't agree with you more on this, although I do think your lovely because your not always "lovely" if that makes sense.
And just remember Missy, that you are amoung those brave people/women too. Hey remember that.

Mermaids Purse said...

This post cracked me up, sure can identify with this at times. What I like about the various assortment of bloggers out there is kinda the way we choose a book. You can choose the voice and content you want to read. Vice versa...the person writing can be whom ever they would like to be and share what ever. I appreciate your frank portrayal of "Not Lovely". Til the next blog...
Fair Winds and Calm Seas,
Deborah Leon www.mermaidspurseseaglass.com

RoLuc said...

about time Steph

Leonie Guld said...

can't speak pissing my self laughing!!!

Feeling better? x

Thereisabuttonmissing said...

Everytime I have seen you Steph you have been lovely. I actually remember thinking 'I wish I was that friggin' cheery!'.
I think you are lovely just the way you are. xx

Doily said...

What a wonderful analogy Ms Mermaids Purse! Yes, just like a book! I have a wonderful vision of whoosing along one of those sliding ladders in an enormous great library if blogs!
Golly how fun!

Kim said...

Oh Stephy, love this post, and all the comments. I can totally relate to the comments about pushing the junk and dust to the side to take a photo, too.

I hope you realise that being lovely doesn't mean you have to be perfect! I think you ARE lovely. And your friend will realise you didn't mean to upset them, and will forgive you because you would never hurt them intentionally. Love ya, gorge. xo

Bluebell said...

You know Kim and I (I know you won't mind me sharing, Kimmy!) have spoken about of how drawn we are to reading your blog because of the honesty in your words and expression- your voice is engaging, funny and sometimes quirky and sometimes obscure- sometimes purely fun, and sometimes serious...

The blog world is indeed a funny entity that I have trouble understanding. I've taken to just reading lately... I feel that I should be writing in a little book that is tucked safely under the bed. But what's its use under there? I don’t need word vomit under my bed…. There’s too much junk under there anyway!

Thanks for sharing the real bits.

pictures eat people said...

hehe!! i dig you x

bekimarie said...

Great post and really couldn't put it better than Andi.
My home is an absolute tip most of the time and CBeebies is permantly on the tv most days so that I can blog and craft ;)
Off to read Pips post now.

Beki xxx

Drewzel said...

Yep, I loved Pip's post too! But I love your post EVEN MORE! Sometimes teh bloggy bandwagon super cutesy/lovely perfect craft/life/home/family makes me want to VOM, because it can seem so staged and artificial...and I'm so glad you said it...out loud...well sorta out loud. I feel like I always have to apologise to my 3 readers for being a cranky old bag because the rest of the blogging population seems to live in candyland. And some people take themselves WAYYYYYYY too seriously. Yay you! xx love ya.